Love Wins:LGBT

Here is a ministry that a friend of mine leads. God is using him to do great things. His ministry is expanding. Because of the high demand for his message, he has had to add staff to help with the traveling and speaking engagements. It is exciting to see how God’s love is so powerful when it is simply applied to all of life’s situations, sexual orientation included.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lovewinslgbt?fref=ts

Church: http://www.trinityfamilyonline.com/#!love-wins/c5j1

Thank you, my friend, for daring to unconditionally love the LGBT community!!

-Trevor

Don’t Waste Your Time

“No faith or political persuasion which has adopted Chicken Little as its mascot is worthy of my time or allegiance.
Move on. Nothing to see here. Not interested.”

-Trevor, 2015, on his blog “LifeInCocoon”

The Problem With Gay People Is That They Are…

I know you’ve got a problem with gay people. Let me see if I’ve got this “straight” (pun included at no extra cost) –

The problem with gay people is that they are…

Normal
We love. We dislike. We work. We play. We hope. We lose hope. We dream. We despair. We are just normal people. Just like you.

We do not have some kind of mental or physical disease that needs to be fixed or cured. This is who we are. Our sexual orientation is just as an integral part of us as your heterosexual orientation is an integral part of you. Which means that just like you didn’t choose heterosexuality, we didn’t choose our homosexuality; just like you can’t change your orientation, we can’t change ours. This isn’t a fad or a phase we are going through. We aren’t out to win some popularity contest or be “cool” (are you kidding??).

For most of “us,” at least for those of us who are “out” to some extent, this has been a journey that has taken a significant amount of time and effort in our lives. In my own case, I’ve been on this journey since about the age of 9. In my compartmentalized state, I kept this hidden and secret. All because of the imposed shame that I was given. But, I have nothing to be ashamed of. I’m just your normal guy.

Too bad you can’t see me like that.

You really wish we were strange, freaky, hateful, and unlovable people. But, come to find out, we aren’t.

I know that’s a problem for you.

People of Faith
It may make you uncomfortable. It may make you squirm. You may not be able to bring yourself to accept the fact. But it is a fact. We love God. We love to worship. We love to study the Bible. We love to discuss theology. We love the community of faith. We love to volunteer to make our churches happy and healthy. We love to work alongside of you to reach the community and make it a better place. We believe that “God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son” (John 3:16). We are faithful followers of Christ. We are Christian.

Yes, we are gay Christians.

You really wish we were God-hating, devil-worshiping people. But, come to find out, we aren’t.

I know that’s a problem for you.

Agenda-Driven
You are right…we do, in fact, have an agenda.

Here is my personal gay agenda.

Here is the perspective of the “gay agenda” by a LGBTQ supporter.

You really wish we were out to destroy everything you hold dear. But, come to find out, we aren’t.

I know that’s a problem for you.

~~~~~~~

It is my belief that if these three facts could be embraced, then we could begin to have a good conversation about how true “community” can be expressed and experienced by all people. Straight and LGBTQ alike.

And more than a conversation. Conviction. Then…reality.

-Trevor

Meeting For The First Time

Written upon the death of my great nephew today, just 3 months old
He was named after his great grandfather, my dad

In his slumber and sleep
His name was called
We won’t ever understand
But we will believe
That his Companion
Dispatched his namesake
To meet for the first time
And to usher him
Into his eternal home

Be at peace, little one

– Trevor

I Will Speak

This was written by an aquaintance of mine. It is simply too good not to pass on.

“Sure, I could be silent. 200 years ago, people said the same about slavery: Just shut up. I’m sorry, but this won’t go away, whether I speak or not.”

“But for the sake of the voiceless, I will speak. For the sake of those who are being kicked out of the church by the legalists, I will speak. For the sake of those who prayed endless nights to be “changed” but were not, I will speak. In fact, for the sake of Christ Himself, who recognizes nothing of His own Spirit in this homophobic, heartless and legalistic bunch, I will speak. Perhaps, just perhaps, some will finally listen. And show the compassion that should be the very heart of the gospel, rather than laws that have never been able to save anybody.”

“Amen” or “Thank You” is simply not sufficient.

Count me in!

-Trevor

Weekending

I’m waking up this morning in the beautiful Ozarks. The sun is shining brightly around a smattering of fog hugging the lake and the hillsides. The birds are happily singing their springtime tunes. The foliage is just beginning to put on the slightest tinge of green.

It is so quiet (except for the fishing boats I hear speeding along the lake to get to the favored honey hole). It is so peaceful. All seems to be in harmony.

I’ve been sitting here thinking about my life…my marriage…my family…my work…my faith.

I’m blessed.

Weekending takes one away from the normal humdrum, routine, and stresses of life. It helps the mind release. It helps the body relax. It restores. It rejuvenates. It reharmonizes. Or…it can, if we let it.

It will, if I let it

I know what matters. Most importantly, I know who matters.

I still believe there is hope for a beautiful life to be discovered within the cocoon.

So I choose to indulge in all the positive around me, and let the negative die the death of neglect.

The coffee’s not bad, either.

-Trevor

I Will

Today

Everyday

I will be instrumental

In helping another person

Experience

Uncontional Love

-Trevor

Various & Intriguing

<A few personal rambling thoughts of mine and some statements of others that have caught my attention the last few days.>

“I love her. I truly do!” It’s so difficult being in this state of my life. It really is no wonder that a very small percentage of mixed-orientation marriages last. And, add to those general statistics the fact that I came to acknowledge my sexual orientation nearly 25 years into our marriage…and add to that fact the devastating effect of my marital infidelity with another man. But all that pales in comparison to the fact that my love for my wife is a soul-deep and abiding love and commitment. Although my past has been far from perfect, I’m doing all that I can to show her my love and how much I want us to stay together. I don’t ever want to be apart from her. I don’t ever want to be separated from her. I don’t ever want to have the divorce discussion. NO! I want to grow old with her! I love her!! I can’t explain it…how I can be gay and still deeply in love with her. To am so attached to her. It’s more than a feeling, it is a fact. I just know it. It is. My love is. I.Love.Her.

“What’s next?” I’ve pretty much given up on the whole ministry thing. It didn’t take me too long to realize that any support I would be apple to garner would only be within certain parameters that really didn’t match my own experience. Add to that the fact that I lost my ministry in the first place because I had a sexual affair with another man. Having one with a woman would have been bad enough, but in that case there would have been some hope of my ministerial return. But, it seems the church can’t bring itself to employ the fully forgiving grace of God in a male/male affair, in that I was recently told that there “is no way” that I would be restored. So, I’m moving on. Now, I’m on a serious search for a much better paying job that will take me into a healthy and financially secure retirement. My dream is to spend my retirement years with my wife in full-time RVing…and it’s going to take some serious scratch to make that happen.

“Ben Carson said what??” In a recent interview with Chris Cuomo, the conservative presidential hopeful had this exchange:
  Chris Cuomo: “You think being gay is a choice?”
  Ben Carson: “Absolutely”
  Chris Cuomo: “Why do you say that?
  Ben Carson: “Because, a lot of people who go into prison, go into prison straight and when they come out, they’re gay, so did something happen while they were in there?”

This blogger states, “As a neurosurgeon, Ben Carson is a man of science, but in this exchange he sounds like an uncle who has downed a pint of Wild Turkey and suddenly wants to make half the family uncomfortable with his dim views of the world.” When I read that, I was again reminded of the great ignorance that continues to dumb down some segments of our fellow Americans. My second thought was – president?!? Please God, no!!

“Victims don’t want to be well.” I recently heard a minister make this statement, along with many others that were simply ignorant of the pain and suffering, some lifelong, of those who have suffered abuse at the hands of other people, some of whom were “good church people.” Now, I will give the minister a little bit of a break because he prefaced the aforementioned statements by talking about the atmosphere of “victimization” of the American culture. The problem is, there is a huge difference between being a “victim” and someone who lives in the realm of “victimization.” He’s a smart guy and highly educated. He should have known better…he probably does. Quite frankly, he should have spent more time on that section of this sermon manuscript. Not only was I surprised by what he said, I was also somewhat offended. Because I’m a victim of sexual abuse; however, I’m not living in victimization. I know the difference. He should have, too.

“Out of fear of compromising its sexual ethic the Church has inadvertently compromised its more foundational witness of God’s reconciling movement toward humanity.” That statement literally jumped off the page at me. This blogger so effectively deals with the “label” issue. In case you aren’t a part of a faith community that is lost in knowing how to address and minister to the LGBTQ community, there is a raging battle between those who – like myself – carry the label of “gay Christian” and those who insist that is not possible and that we must use “same-sex-attracted” instead in order to be fully integrated into the faith community. I was recently told to basically “get lost” and that I had nothing to offer the conversation because I was simply concerned with being “politically correct” because I offered some suggested language changes to the church in attempting ministry to the LGBTQ community. After reading this blog, I was encouraged that I wasn’t alone. Sadly, some will just never get it.

I’m still friends with the monsters in my head.

Franklin Graham should stay out of race relations. At least until he spends some time outside his particular bubble. It is another ignorant, and ultimately stupid, statement by a southern, white, conservative, American minister. This blogger offers some good thoughts in that regard.

A few various and intriguing thoughts. What say you?

– Trevor

Vapors & Mists

Vapors & Mists
By: Trevor

Vapors and mists
That appear for just moments
They are born out of and then
They are burned away
By the stresses of life

Faces and voices
Which swirl and envelope
That enter and exit
My consciousness

Existing in my waking and
Walking around world
Living even still in my
Sleeping and dreams

Of faces
People in the past
And in the present
Countenances that speak volumes

Of voices
That carry many messages
Of mistakes of the past
And doubts for the future

Of faces and voices
From several and sundry
Places and worlds
Which have intersected my own

Of faces and voices
Each one
Vying for my attention and allegiance
Professing to have the truth

Of faces and voices
Some of which
Are easily forgotten
And others linger still

Of vapors and mists
I must recall
That they appear
And are soon gone

Of faces and voices
I must entreat
To stay on the fringes
And not feed defeat

“Please Wait While Your Page Loads.”

So, you sit there and star at the little circle go around and around and around. Waiting on what seems like an eternity for the page to load.

I haven’t posted for a while because I’m still staring at the going-around circle.

You might call it writer’s block. And there might be several reasons for that, including – so much that I want to say, I don’t know where to start; disappointment in that the support I had imagined would materialize was just that – imaginary; frequent reminders that I’m on this journey all by myself – many close by seem to only be interested in being a spectator; loving my wife and family so very much and feeling quite inadequate to provide what they need; feelings and attitudes I’m still struggling to reconcile and put in proper perspective; doing everything I can to not revert back to an unhealthy compartmentalized life; trying to figure out what to do with the last half of my life; weariness; etc, etc…

I’m still here.

-Trevor