Let It Out

2014 is quickly drawing to a close.

It’s been a year full of all kinds of things, people, and experiences. It’s usually during these waning days of our years that we mentally review what the year has held. We remember, rejoice, and regret.

That’s breathing in.

I don’t know about you, but I need to move forward past all that stuff. Not just move on, but move forward. Forward to an even healthier and happier 2015.

That moving forward…that’s letting it out. All so the new can be embraced and breathed in. So in these few remaining hours of 2014, I choose to let it out.

-Trevor

Space

I love my family.

I love being with my family.

I love celebrating the holidays with my family.

The last two days have been wall-to-wall family gatherings.

Today….its real quiet and a little lonely.

But, it’s also a little nice.

-Trevor

Simple

Powerful

Heartfelt

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

-Trevor

Grab A Cup

It’s Christmas Eve.

Time to kick back, relax, reconnect, and soak in the warmth of the season. Now is the time to clear out your heart and mind so that you are ready for the best of gifts.

It could start with something as simple as a cup of hot chocolate…

-Trevor

My Grownup Christmas List

The Honor of the Spectator

The old story became new for me again today. Well, at least part of it did.

Angels.

An angel was sent to deliver two very personal messages. Gabriel was dispatched by God to give a special message to Zacharius, a priest who was elderly and whose wife was barren. The message was that they would soon become parents by natural birth of their own. A few months later, Gabriel was once again given a special message to deliver, this time to a virgin girl named Mary. Again, this was a message of an impending pregnancy and birth. These angelic visits and conversations are recorded in the New Testament portion of the Bible, in John chapter 1.

It must have been a great honor to be the recipient of those angelic visits.

But I was reminded of the magnitude of another angelic visit which is remembered during this Christmas season.

This visit was to a group of shepherds tending to their flocks on a dark night. This story, recorded in Luke chapter 2 of the Bible, tells of this visit. It was more than just a single angel, it was “the heavenly hosts.” The original Greek language means that the sky was full of angels. This wasn’t a quiet conversation. It was the sky ripped open by the hands of the Creator Himself to reveal multiple millions of angels wearing dazzling attire which reflected the holy light of the love of God Himself. Angels singing! Angels dancing! Angels set loose on the greatest mission yet in their existence…that of announcing the birth of Jesus. The Creator was on His way to live with the created, as one of them. And all that partying was done for the benefit of some of the lowliest and loneliest of all mankind…shepherds.

It was an extreme honor to be a spectator of that angelic announcement.

It still is.

The happy message of love represented by the birth of Jesus is for EVERYONE. Not just the influential, privileged, all-put-together, or holy. It is for the lonely, forgotten, lost, abused, abandoned, questioning, hated, marginalized, sinner, imperfect, every color, every sexual orientation, every language…well, like I said, everyone!

The whole world needs to hear that loving message.

The religious world needs to remember that loving message.

I need to speak that loving message.

This party is all about YOU being loved by HIM.

Merry Christmas!

You are loved!!

-Trevor

This Smile

My smile is authentic. It is freely shared. It is known to be genuine.

But, my smile is also something else.

This smile.

A mask.

It hides the torture of memories that refuse to die.

It hides the anger at close acquaintances who wrecked evil havoc.

It hides the pain of misplaced trust.

It hides the regrets of miscues of life decisions.

It hides the mental anguish that rages through my mind.

it hides temptations, attractions, and desires.

It hides the pain of lost friendships.

It hides the regrets of disaster that I’ve introduced into my family.

It hides that I’ve been so close to suicide that it’s scary.

It rests upon my face to hide all this, and more.

This smile.

This mask.

Hurts like hell.

-Trevor

Is It OK for Christians to Identify as Divorced?

Good food for thought.

Spiritual Friendship

A Catholic friend of mine is divorced. He has not sought—and does not believe he could obtain—an annulment. His ex-wife is still living and in good health, so he expects to remain single for the rest of his life.

Moody Radio recently asked the question, “Is it OK for Christians to identify as gay and celibate?” The host’s answer seemed to be no. It would seem, if we follow her logic—and the logic of other critics like her—that it would also be wrong for my friend to ever say, “I am divorced.” Doing so would involve defining himself based on something evil: “I hate divorce,” God says (Makachi 2:16).

For obvious reasons, I don’t follow Christian debates about remarriage and divorce nearly as closely as I follow debates about homosexuality. But I am not ignorant of them, either. And so far as I know, nobody—no matter where they lie on the spectrum…

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Please God, Not One More!

The look. If looks could kill, already under six.

The words. “Words will never harm me”…what a lie.

The hit. Shove…Slap…Punch…Kick…Pummel.

The exile. Shown the door…maybe a few articles of clothing…nowhere to go.

Now what?

Please God, not one more!

The exit. Cut? Jump? Bang? Fade?

NO! Not One More!! Please God!!!

Every day, LGBTQ youth are facing demeaning and destructive countenances, words, physical abuse, and exile from their homes simply because they have admitted that they are LGBTQ.

Every day, Christian LGBTQ youth are facing Christ-less, demeaning and destructive countenances, words, physical abuse, and exile from their Christian homes simply because they have admitted that they are LGBTQ.

You can find more examples than you care to on YouTube.

Sadly, many of those young people know of no other way to escape this impossibly horrible situation than to exit this life.

My personal circumstances don’t match what I’ve described, but my heart breaks for them. I’ve felt that desperation. That hopelessness. I’m still here, I can’t explain all the reasons why, but I’ve made it this far.

Too many don’t.

According to The Trevor Project:

• Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among young people ages 10 to 24.

• LGB youth are 4 times more likely, and questioning youth are 3 times more likely, to attempt suicide as their straight peers.

• Suicide attempts by LGB youth and questioning youth are 4 to 6 times more likely to result in injury, poisoning, or overdose that requires treatment from a doctor or nurse, compared to their straight peers.

• Nearly half of young transgender people have seriously thought about taking their lives, and one quarter report having made a suicide attempt.

• LGB youth who come from highly rejecting families are 8.4 times as likely to have attempted suicide as LGB peers who reported no or low levels of family rejection.

• 1 out of 6 students nationwide (grades 9-12) seriously considered suicide in the past year.

• Suicide attempts are nearly two times higher among Black and Hispanic youth than White youth.

• Each episode of LGBT victimization, such as physical or verbal harassment or abuse, increases the likelihood of self-harming behavior by 2.5 times on average.

NO! Not One More!! Please God!!!

If you know a person who is LGBTQ of any age, but especially a young person, please let them know they are loved.

The look. A look of love and acceptance.

The words. Words that welcome and heal.

The hit. The impact of a big, strong, warm hug.

The exile. Walking away with them from the hell they are living in.

All that, so that they never reach their “exit.”

Loved.

Loved unconditionally.

Simply….loved.

“I love you” may just save a life.

Say it.

Today!

-Trevor

Religious counseling makes things worse

This is mind-boggling.

I’m working with an excellent therapist, a person who has the experience, knowledge, and heart to make it a bearable journey. Not everyone has that experience.

“Today, I’m ok.” That’s my daily theme.

GregComesOut

I’ve been in therapy a number of times in my life. The first time was when I was in college, at the strong recommendation of the missions organization that had just rejected me for experiencing “homosexual temptation.” The referred me to a good Christian counselor in my area who probed my relationship with my father, and with my mother, and my feelings of inadequacy. Blehhh!

The second time was when I went away to graduate school. I was stressed about living in a bigger, progressive city, and fearful that I might falter in the “progress” I had made in my fight against the aforementioned temptation. Well, I call it “the second time,” but it probably really shouldn’t count. I went to just one appointment at the university counseling center, and quite logically and eloquently (I’m sure…) explained how and why I was experiencing these errant impulses. When my counselor revealed…

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