Tell Your Heart To Beat Again


A Letter To Myself, On the Night of My Suicide


Spiritual Friendship

Garrett ThomasGarrett Thomas is from the Heartland and went to college in the Deep South. He is Southern Baptist and enjoys discussing friendship, family, and ethics from a conservative evangelical perspective. Follow his blog: The Night Is Nearly Over / The Day Is Almost Here. Follow him on Twitter @AlexiusIV.

Note to Readers: This came from quite a dark time in my life. But even in the dark, God works, and He is good, so good. May we never assume that everyone is always doing okay. Let’s ask one another and get in each other’s lives. The church needs to be a place of vulnerability and of honesty, where people are directed toward the hope of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Because, no one should ever die by their own hand.

“If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even…

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Please God, Not One More!

The look. If looks could kill, already under six.

The words. “Words will never harm me”…what a lie.

The hit. Shove…Slap…Punch…Kick…Pummel.

The exile. Shown the door…maybe a few articles of clothing…nowhere to go.

Now what?

Please God, not one more!

The exit. Cut? Jump? Bang? Fade?

NO! Not One More!! Please God!!!

Every day, LGBTQ youth are facing demeaning and destructive countenances, words, physical abuse, and exile from their homes simply because they have admitted that they are LGBTQ.

Every day, Christian LGBTQ youth are facing Christ-less, demeaning and destructive countenances, words, physical abuse, and exile from their Christian homes simply because they have admitted that they are LGBTQ.

You can find more examples than you care to on YouTube.

Sadly, many of those young people know of no other way to escape this impossibly horrible situation than to exit this life.

My personal circumstances don’t match what I’ve described, but my heart breaks for them. I’ve felt that desperation. That hopelessness. I’m still here, I can’t explain all the reasons why, but I’ve made it this far.

Too many don’t.

According to The Trevor Project:

• Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among young people ages 10 to 24.

• LGB youth are 4 times more likely, and questioning youth are 3 times more likely, to attempt suicide as their straight peers.

• Suicide attempts by LGB youth and questioning youth are 4 to 6 times more likely to result in injury, poisoning, or overdose that requires treatment from a doctor or nurse, compared to their straight peers.

• Nearly half of young transgender people have seriously thought about taking their lives, and one quarter report having made a suicide attempt.

• LGB youth who come from highly rejecting families are 8.4 times as likely to have attempted suicide as LGB peers who reported no or low levels of family rejection.

• 1 out of 6 students nationwide (grades 9-12) seriously considered suicide in the past year.

• Suicide attempts are nearly two times higher among Black and Hispanic youth than White youth.

• Each episode of LGBT victimization, such as physical or verbal harassment or abuse, increases the likelihood of self-harming behavior by 2.5 times on average.

NO! Not One More!! Please God!!!

If you know a person who is LGBTQ of any age, but especially a young person, please let them know they are loved.

The look. A look of love and acceptance.

The words. Words that welcome and heal.

The hit. The impact of a big, strong, warm hug.

The exile. Walking away with them from the hell they are living in.

All that, so that they never reach their “exit.”


Loved unconditionally.


“I love you” may just save a life.

Say it.