Hero

I imagine that most men want to be someone’s hero…most humanity really. Not a tights and cape wearing version of a hero, but to be someone who others can look up to and admire.

I want to be that hero to someone. I think that I once was, but maybe not so much lately. In many ways, my life these days is made up of reminders of my terrible moral failure and the near destruction of my family. But, in spite of all that, maybe – just maybe – there are some reasons I can be someone’s hero.

My faith. I’m a Christian. That doesn’t mean that I’m perfect…far from it, in fact. It simply means that I live my life with the understanding that Jesus Christ is more knowledgeable and powerful than me, and I have committed my life to following a lifestyle that reflects His leadership in my life. That may not seem so heroic to some, but surrendering one’s life to a higher power takes great courage.

My marriage. All human relationships offer their own set of challenges. Marriage is a complicated journey. My marriage, a mixed-orientation marriage (I am gay, my wife is straight), is infinitely more complicated. Some may discount the effort required to grow and maintain a healthy mixed-orientation mrriage, but I can assure you that it is heroic.

My sexuality. As I stated above, I’m gay. I’m in a fully committed marriage with an awesome loving, kind, and gracious woman. I love her more than life itself. In the midst of that, it takes the strength of a super hero to stay sexually focused on my commitment to her, instead of going the way of my physical impulses and desires.

My work. I work two jobs, 65 hours per week. I’ve always done all it takes to provide for my family. My drive to excel has always highly motivated me – good is not good enough. Lots of other people work hard like me, and I can tell you, it takes heroic energy and drive to keep up that pace week in and week out.

So, maybe someday in some way I will once again be able to make a positive difference in someone’s life.

Until then, my training continues.

– Trevor