Blown Out Of The Nest

A few evenings ago, during a lull in a major system of thunderstorms which were rolling across the area, in order to avoid getting doused with rain and hail, I was making quick work of the task of securing one of the buildings on my work campus, when I ran across the lifeless little bodies of two baby birds laying on the cold, wet sidewalk. They were not yet old enough to fly, for their feathers had not yet fully grown out. It was kind of sad. I stopped and listened for a mother bird who might be calling for them…I looked toward the sky to see if I could see a flying parent overhead. Nothing.

Just the quiet calm.

Swallowed up by even more threatening storm clouds swirling overhead.

This brought to mind the many storms of humanity that swirl around us all. I don’t know about you, but I grow weary of it all. Our world has become so polarized, so sure of itself, so full of its own truth in the sound of its own thoughts that come cascading out of its mouth. My FB newsfeed is continually littered by crap that does more to build walls than bridges. The bluster of all of the opinions and prognostications that litter our airwaves and etherwaves…that infect our brainwaves…and have the power to dramatically alter our life.

Some, in fact, are blown out of the nest, never to be heard from again.

What would it be like if every person, in our own individual time and place, started bringing some calm and clearing to the storms that surround us? What if we all started treated every other person with the utmost care and concern with which we would like to be treated? What chance would storms of hate and intolerance have of surviving that kind of sky-blue-clear world like that?

Sometimes life feels like the weather…of the last 31 days this month, I have only had 4 without rain.

I’m ready for the sunshine.



Why Everything Does Not Happen For A Reason

A well thought out response.

john pavlovitz


That phrase.

We’ve all received it personally gift wrapped, by well-meaning friends, caring loved ones, and kind strangers. It usually comes delivered with the most beautiful of intentions; a buffer of hope raised in the face of the unimaginably painful things we sometimes experience in this life.

It’s a close, desperate lifeline thrown out to us when all other words fail:

Everything happens for a reason.

I’ve never had a tremendous amount of peace with the sentiment. I think it gives the terrible stuff too much power, too much poetry; as if there must be nobility and purpose within the brutal devastation we may find ourselves sitting in. In our profound distress, this idea forces us to run down dark, twisted rabbit trails, looking for the specific part of The Greater Plan that this suffering all fits into.

It serves as an emotional distraction, one that cheats us out of the full measure of our real-time grief and outrage. We stutter…

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Gay ≠ Lesser

Good thoughts…important questions.

Another Anomaly Among Many

I recently sat down with one of my friends to catch up on life, and the reflections that I had after that conversation are the basis of this post. Now, I generally try to refrain from writing angry/irritated posts just for the sake of it, but I’ve been realizing that if this blog is going to be about my experiences, it has to include everything, because other people have probably felt those things too. So I’ll try not to just go off on everything, but what I write here is going to encompass all the different things that I’ve felt and experienced.

What I’ve been thinking about since my friend and I had that conversation is this: why do people automatically view us as being somehow dirtier, more sinful, and less sincere about our faith just because we identify as LGBT? Why do our theology and our motivations get questioned…

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A Letter To Myself, On the Night of My Suicide


Spiritual Friendship

Garrett ThomasGarrett Thomas is from the Heartland and went to college in the Deep South. He is Southern Baptist and enjoys discussing friendship, family, and ethics from a conservative evangelical perspective. Follow his blog: The Night Is Nearly Over / The Day Is Almost Here. Follow him on Twitter @AlexiusIV.

Note to Readers: This came from quite a dark time in my life. But even in the dark, God works, and He is good, so good. May we never assume that everyone is always doing okay. Let’s ask one another and get in each other’s lives. The church needs to be a place of vulnerability and of honesty, where people are directed toward the hope of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Because, no one should ever die by their own hand.

“If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even…

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I imagine that most men want to be someone’s hero…most humanity really. Not a tights and cape wearing version of a hero, but to be someone who others can look up to and admire.

I want to be that hero to someone. I think that I once was, but maybe not so much lately. In many ways, my life these days is made up of reminders of my terrible moral failure and the near destruction of my family. But, in spite of all that, maybe – just maybe – there are some reasons I can be someone’s hero.

My faith. I’m a Christian. That doesn’t mean that I’m perfect…far from it, in fact. It simply means that I live my life with the understanding that Jesus Christ is more knowledgeable and powerful than me, and I have committed my life to following a lifestyle that reflects His leadership in my life. That may not seem so heroic to some, but surrendering one’s life to a higher power takes great courage.

My marriage. All human relationships offer their own set of challenges. Marriage is a complicated journey. My marriage, a mixed-orientation marriage (I am gay, my wife is straight), is infinitely more complicated. Some may discount the effort required to grow and maintain a healthy mixed-orientation mrriage, but I can assure you that it is heroic.

My sexuality. As I stated above, I’m gay. I’m in a fully committed marriage with an awesome loving, kind, and gracious woman. I love her more than life itself. In the midst of that, it takes the strength of a super hero to stay sexually focused on my commitment to her, instead of going the way of my physical impulses and desires.

My work. I work two jobs, 65 hours per week. I’ve always done all it takes to provide for my family. My drive to excel has always highly motivated me – good is not good enough. Lots of other people work hard like me, and I can tell you, it takes heroic energy and drive to keep up that pace week in and week out.

So, maybe someday in some way I will once again be able to make a positive difference in someone’s life.

Until then, my training continues.

– Trevor

Shift Happens: Why American Christianity Dying, Is A Good Thing

Perfect description of the awesome – or terrifying (depending on your mindset) – opportunities afforded to the Church in these days.

john pavlovitz

Bud growing

Today a friend posted this piece that’s been making the Interweb rounds this week.

The author contends that the Evangelical churches, possessing “authentic Biblical Christianity” are actually not dying, but the Mainline, more Progressive, more permissive, more malleable churches. He cites the recent Pew Research Center study stats, showing Evangelical churches shrinking by only a couple of percentage points, (which he deems a sign of victory in view of the comparatively larger declines of the Mainline and Catholic communities).

It’s a perfect example of the kind of “lemonade” being made by some more Conservative Christian folks these days in response to the exodus of the American Church. The author ends up doing the kind of clever spin-doctoring that seeks to carefully control the dire narrative, arguing that while people are indeed walking out, they aren’t really leaving Christianity, just the “near Christianity” that those other churches are brokering in.

While that seems like a reasonable argument to make…

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