Lots of things drive us. Success, money, prestige, position, authority, power, the past, present, and future. These drivers tend to steer our thoughts, moods, and ability to act in ways that we want to.
One driver that negatively impacts my sense of self-worth and mood at any given time are all my inadequacies. Especially in my relationship with my wife. These thoughts of inadequacy steer me toward feelings that range from deep embarrassment to extreme self loathing, and include great sorrow for her pain.
I can’t let those thoughts and feelings dictate my directions and decisions. I must be in control of all of my faculties…both body and mind.
It is kind of like an MMA match inside my being. My will pitted against the will of my opponent.
I must win.
At all costs.
Mind over matter.
I must be in control, not my inadequacies or any of the other things I listed above.
In control. Honestly. Transparently. Actively.