Hero

I imagine that most men want to be someone’s hero…most humanity really. Not a tights and cape wearing version of a hero, but to be someone who others can look up to and admire.

I want to be that hero to someone. I think that I once was, but maybe not so much lately. In many ways, my life these days is made up of reminders of my terrible moral failure and the near destruction of my family. But, in spite of all that, maybe – just maybe – there are some reasons I can be someone’s hero.

My faith. I’m a Christian. That doesn’t mean that I’m perfect…far from it, in fact. It simply means that I live my life with the understanding that Jesus Christ is more knowledgeable and powerful than me, and I have committed my life to following a lifestyle that reflects His leadership in my life. That may not seem so heroic to some, but surrendering one’s life to a higher power takes great courage.

My marriage. All human relationships offer their own set of challenges. Marriage is a complicated journey. My marriage, a mixed-orientation marriage (I am gay, my wife is straight), is infinitely more complicated. Some may discount the effort required to grow and maintain a healthy mixed-orientation mrriage, but I can assure you that it is heroic.

My sexuality. As I stated above, I’m gay. I’m in a fully committed marriage with an awesome loving, kind, and gracious woman. I love her more than life itself. In the midst of that, it takes the strength of a super hero to stay sexually focused on my commitment to her, instead of going the way of my physical impulses and desires.

My work. I work two jobs, 65 hours per week. I’ve always done all it takes to provide for my family. My drive to excel has always highly motivated me – good is not good enough. Lots of other people work hard like me, and I can tell you, it takes heroic energy and drive to keep up that pace week in and week out.

So, maybe someday in some way I will once again be able to make a positive difference in someone’s life.

Until then, my training continues.

– Trevor

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2 thoughts on “Hero

  1. I think you are right you already may be a hero, but you may not really understand what a true hero is. In my child hood I looked up to and thought a hero of a man who stopped me from getting a bad beating…until I got home and got a worse one for having some one else know.

    I have had many heroes over my life, now let me tell you a small story. A few weeks ago we heard a noise out side out home at 5 AM, it was dark and Ron went to check. He found a woman and a child hiding behind our home. Ron called the police and as they wanted to talk to her, he gave her his phone. He came back into the house to reassure me and so I got dressed and was in the kitchen with him when we heard a crash and screams. We both rushed out the door to our carport, it took me a little more than Ron. What I saw was a woman face first into a carport support, bent over, a man beating her. I acted. I do not claim to be a hero or even able to do anything, but I rushed over to the attacker, yelled into his ear to stop. He stood up and looked at me and started to talk. I cut him off . I told him I would not, could not have that here at my home and pointed to the street. He got a funny look on his face and ran off.
    Was I a hero. No , I was simply doing what any human would have done. I then got the woman settled and took care of the 8 year old boy.
    People think I am nuts for what I did. I could have been badly hurt, I am severely crippled. That is not the point. We are heroes every day that we make a difference in someones life, and we may never even know we did it.

    That is my point, you have already been a hero and you will be a hero again, but the fact is you may never know of it. It happens when we try to help others regardless of what we think, what we believe, or what we are. Helping others makes us for that moment the hero.

    So give your self credit and move forward, but know that in the eyes of those who love you, you are a hero. You always have been. Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It sounds as if for some reason you feel you have fallen from your Hero pedestal, at least through the eyes of your loved ones. But from what you share on this blog, I think you are more so the Hero now that you are willing to sacrifice who you are sexually to secure a whole and healthy family that was created and is sustained by pure love.

    Liked by 2 people

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