“Christ’s life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not “mine,” but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
(Galatians 2:20, The Message)
I’m not looking to impress you. It’s not that you aren’t important to me, but, simply put, you are too much like me. Too human. Too apt to love me one minute and hate me the next…appreciate me in one setting and ignore me in the next…support me then abandon me.
I’m not looking to impress God, either. It’s not that He isn’t important to me, but, simply put, He is God and I am not. He can’t be impressed, even with all the ingenuity that I can muster.
I have identified with Christ. He lives in me. And if He lives in me, He knows all about me. Why would I try to impress him when he already knows the unvarnished truth? Why would I not simply rest in a secure relationship with my Savior?
I have life because I am actively putting to death (crucified) all the crazy junk that would make the meaning of life emanate from my own being. I don’t have that power. I know…I’ve tried…and it was a miserable experience. So, the truth is that I must allow my identity with Him to impact every area of my life.
To you I may not be very impressive, I may be some kind of religious nut, I may look like I have way too many struggles and issues to be a Christ follower, I may look like I haven’t prayed enough or have strong enough faith. To you I may look like a failure or a sinner. Understand that my faith is not about your definition of my faith, but about my life in Him. He is the only one who writes the definition of my faith.
There are many ways in which my life reflects a “crucified” stance. In the context of this blog as a gay Christian man in a mixed-orientation marriage, here is one powerful way – I am living in sexual purity before God and in my marriage. I am resisting the powerful temptation to do otherwise.
That’s what “crucified with Christ” looks like.
It’s not some mystical occurrence with signs and wonders. It is simply living life, ordinary and day-in-and-day-out life, a life of obedience to Him and restraint of my ego.
He is in the wisps of my day.
I treasure Him.
He is life.