Wanted: a place

A place for me. A place of service and ministry. A group of people to whom I can give my life and my soul in community.

Would you take me?

I’m not perfect. Let’s just get that out of the way at the very beginning. I haven’t got life all figured out, and I certainly haven’t got my God all figured out, either. My faith is a journey, and it’s alive and well. And, even though I haven’t got Him all figured out, he certainly knows all about me. Amazingly, He loves me in spite of…well…me! 🙂 My wife and I have a solid marriage. That’s not to say that we don’t have our challenges, we do…and one of them is huge (a little bit on that a little later). We are the very best of friends and have committed to live our lives faithfully together for the rest of our days. Our children light up our world, and we love those times when those who have left the nest stop in at “home” and we are all together just being “us.” Love flows freely in my life.

I’ve ministered to dozens and hundreds, in cities and the countryside. I’ve buried the young and old and baptized the “all together” and the “challenged.” I’ve married the lovebirds and counseled the struggling. I’ve resurrected the church on its last leg, and planted a new vibrant organic congregation. I’ve preached and repaired, painted and cleaned, mowed and shoveled, taught and seeded. I’ve done just about everything in the life of a local congregation one could think to do. But most importantly, I’ve shared my heart and soul with my community of faith. I’ve carried their burdens. I’ve wept with them and rejoiced with them. I’ve led them to Jesus. I’ve been changed by their faith. I’ve spent 20+ years doing it. God gifted me to do that. He gave me the skills to do that. He called me to do that.

I need a place.

You OK with what you see?


Would it make any difference if I told you that I am gay?
Would it make any difference if I told you that I am living a sexually pure life?
Would it make any difference if I told you that my wife and I are making our mixed-orientation marriage successful?
Would It make any difference if I told you that God hasn’t lifted His call from my life?
Would it make any difference if I told you that my wife believes in my call and supports me in that?

Are you still interested?

I need a place.



14 thoughts on “Wanted

    • Ah, but Oscar…this call, this passion, this need is bigger than can be contained within me and its satisfaction can only be found outside of me. Its not about me. Its about me giving my life for the good of others. To lay down my life for my brothers and sisters. Its me “being Jesus” to those around me.


  1. Oh friend, I think the place you seek is not just the place all of us have in life. Helping our fellows as we go forward as best we can. No you have a higher need, a calling as you say, a pressure to do what most wont.

    I do not agree that those like you should be subject to such scrutiny. People who feel the need and work so hard to council others. People such as you give so much of your life to others based on your beliefs. You would starve to give another the last meal, you would deny treatment to give another the medical care they need, and you would walk in pain if you thought it would keep that pain from even one other.

    We may not agree sir on Gods, but we can agree your a person to respect, you and those like you. People who live their life to give to others with out deceit and with out guile, with out pretense, and with out thinking of your needs, well respect is the least you deserve. Respect for what you try to do as shown in your life is something no one should question.

    I wish I could give you more, but I don’t think the questions you pose are the right ones. You have lived your life in accordance with your faith. IF you are a preacher, pastor, or such, then those who would ask you to serve need only ask two questions. Are you willing to serve, and are you able. The questions as to your sexuality or your wife and your status, and all the others are not , I repeat, not needed. They simply are gossip. And gossip is not needed in works of faith.

    My best to you and your wife, your family and all you hold dear. I hope you find the place you want to be, you may find it is right where you are. Many hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think you will find where you are needed. Keeping your eyes on the prize, the life God wants you to lead. I agree it ain’t easy figuring out what that is; you are not alone on that.
    I have a question though. You used the term “sexually pure” and I find that a little disturbing. In your case does it mean that you are abstaining altogether/that you do not include sex at all in the mix of your life? People do this because they have no real inclination to sex or because they believe it to be the moral choice they have to take. If the later I find that sad as sex is a God given part of life. Why believe you are made by God and then deny the results.
    Or does it mean your sex life is kept within the bounds of marriage? (I would say that means that perhaps you are not gay but bisexual)(bisexuality sounds amazing to me because you love the person rather than the sex and the sex comes from that.) I digress.
    This is all together fine, you know your life almost as well as God on that, but what disturbs me is that you equate it with Purity. To what is it pure? It somewhat implies that other sexuality is not pure and others might think you are marking it against them and not yourself. I worry that you are attempting to fulfill the purity of others in that respect.
    Why are you no longer in a place after all that experience? Puzzling but if it is because of you becoming more open about who you are and how you live your relationships then shame on them. You are still the person who did all those things, I presume well. Your personal life, especially your sexuality, is nothing if the work you are doing works, and works for God. I wouldn’t deny hearing your application for a minister position.
    As to gays in the ministry, it is still in the early stages but I know one sexually ambiguous woman minister and one gay candidate for ordination in our denomination. Have you tried the UK Methodist church? You can preach as much as you like too, if you pass the certificate. We are looking for ministers though not all of us can afford them anymore. A minister to plant something new would be grand.
    It is hard work so where ever you find it, God bless you in it.


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