Defining Lifestyle

“Gay lifestyle”

That’s a hot-button topic in some circles. It was one of the first questions my wife asked me when I came out…”Do you want to live the gay lifestyle now?” I believe that the term would be offensive if it were not for the high degree of ignorance it reflects. And it’s mildly offensive because, the (straight) people – in my world, anyway – always mean one thing when they use that term: sex.

I don’t know about you, but I’m more than a sexual person. Much more.

And, we all are.

We are acrobats, bankers, cartoonists, dentists, economists, farmers…you get the drift (…so that I don’t have to go through the entire alphabet). We are all colors, shapes, and sizes. We are all ethnicities and come from every corner of the planet. We are all religious beliefs. We drive all sorts of cars. We live in all neighborhoods. We are in all socioeconomic levels. We are here, there, and everywhere. And we are all totally unique, each and every one of us.

Some people think and say that I would fall into the category of people who want to change the meaning of commonly used words. That I want “lifestyle” to mean something other than what it means. Actually, they only think and say that because they want “lifestyle” to refer to a flaming, outrageous, abrasive, horned up gay guy that is jumping in bed with every guy that walks by who is the least bit attractive.

That’s just stupid.

Here’s my gay lifestyle:
* Husband in a mixed-orientation marriage
* Dad
* Grandpa
* Hold a Master’s degree
* Professional manager
* Accomplished musician
* Christian
* Sexually chaste

Sadly, that last item is the one and only thing that many people ever think of. But in reality, I’m your average guy. Kinda boring, really. Not nearly as exciting as some people imagine.

I think that the main reason people believe what I have described is they haven’t spent the amount of time and shared the amount of heart with any gay people to learn who they really are. We are pretty regular people. I know…big shock, eh?

I’m not a bird…please don’t pigeonhole me.

Neither are you.

-Trevor