Life is full of choices. Sometimes they are easy, sometimes they are really difficult. Sometimes, in spite of what other people think, it really is a no-brainer.
I recently received an email from a pastor about my blog. He told me some interesting stuff – like, that he knows of other christian mixed-orientation marriages, and that he has been contacted by two individuals who are considering sex reassignment surgery (one of which is an ordained minister). As interesting as those things are, the most interesting thing he shared with me is the journey he and his wife are on with their college-aged gay son. It is their desire is to see their son loved and accepted by their denomination. He described his interaction with another pastor about the issue and the advice he received to either be his son’s “pastor or his dad.” He and his wife chose to be the parent.
I think that is what is known as “coming down on the right side.”
One of my past posts is about 4 promises to make in parenting a gay child. It is my deep belief that a parent’s most important role and primary “calling” is to lovingly parent their child(ren). Obviously, that is a very intense role that evolves as the child becomes older. And the parent who wrote to me is choosing to love, support, and surround their gay son with the most healthy environment that they possibly can. He is openly loved and accepted in the family. He is a fully engaged member of their church. This pastor/parent told me that his denominational leaders “issued a ‘statement’ interpreting the human sexuality section to mean an openly gay person cannot join the church, serve in the church, or have any ministry.” Although this pastor’s son is not out to many people, his pastor/dad would have the church authority to exclude him from the church life, if he so chose. But this guy is choosing to buck the system and fulfill his first and primary role to be a parent and letting the church political system do what it will. Interestingly enough, he says that his immediate supervisor supports his decision. This guy is even willing to walk away from his pastoral assignment and denominational affiliation in order to remain loyal to his child.
He is leaving the God stuff up to…well…God.
The right side.