I am a Christian. I don’t just claim the faith, I claim the Christ of the faith. I believe in His sacrifice for me. I’ve confessed. I’ve accepted his Lordship of my life.
Yet, I’m not going to heaven.
The other day, a good and loving friend forwarded an article. It was about a christian music artist who has recently come out. No doubt, my friend forwarded it in the hopes of providing some encouragement. But a close reading – paying attention to the questions asked and visiting the links included in the article – gave a very clear message: if you are gay, you are not not christian. It was a clear call to the exodus philosophy (which has recently been shown to be inept at best and fraudulent at worst). It displayed a significant lack of understanding on the whole gay issue, assuming that all people who say they are gay are also actively having gay sex. The author seemingly agrees with the theory that “gay” and “christian” cannot be used in the same sentence. A quick search will bring lots of other results from christian leaders with the same mentality.
I hope that that author is wrong. Dead wrong.
Refer to my first paragraph. Now let me add: I’m focused on living in obedience to my Lord and in faithfulness to my wife. Yes, I’m tempted. Yes, I struggle. No, I’m not perfect. It’s all so stressful and – some days – seemingly hopeless. I need hope; otherwise, what’s the point?
For nearly 4 decades I’ve tried to out live, out run, hide from, escape from, be healed from, pray out of, and work myself out of this identity. But I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t and God won’t. So what am I supposed to do with that? If my faith means anything, it means that since God isn’t changing me, then He has to accept me like I am. He has to take me in as a believer, a Christ-follower, and as a gay man. If He won’t do that, then He must be the most cruel of deities.
I really hope he does.